at it again

i am a firm believer of commiting mistakes by yourself. i rather learn the hard way. for me, it instill a lesson learned that will have a lasting effect on me. a hard learned lesson. like they say, it’s not a mistake if you learn from it…

last year i made a big mistake in my life. a mistake that caused me 12,000 pesos, pain and shame. but what really made it an unforgetable ordeal is that it caused me sleepless nights and hate towards myself. yes, i said mistake. because it made it once again… i hate myself for having to go all through this once again. i hate myself because i let myself to be in a situation a vowed not to put myself. but i did, and i am hating myself for that. it was dumb of me. it was irresponsible of me.

i hope i can tell you all the things, details but i can’t. for the life of me, i can’t. 2 people knows what happened to me. what i have undergone last year. i cried myself to bed. i never cry. you all know that. but this made me cry last year. i just found out yesterday that i am undergoing the same thing. logic would tell you that i would be stronger. that i would be more prepared. but i think this is something you don’t prepare for.

to my friends, i love you all. please understand my being vauge. you all know thati’m always straight to the point. i don’t keep secrets. it is not me to keep secrets. but this time, i opt to.

to bee, you’re one person i don’t want to lose. please understand. i need you mroe than ever.

you 2 guys. my pillars of strenght. i need you once again….

i dunno what to do anymore…

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One thought on “at it again

  1. hey lola! wat happened to you ba? u know like ganon lang ang story mo… ur so vague ah as in V-A-G-U-E! u don’t make kwento na to us ah. kaya pla ur so tahimik the past few weeks. i thought ur just too damn busy with work. so, r u gonna make kwento to us na? go lola!

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