i am a firm believer of commiting mistakes by yourself. i rather learn the hard way. for me, it instill a lesson learned that will have a lasting effect on me. a hard learned lesson. like they say, it’s not a mistake if you learn from it…
last year i made a big mistake in my life. a mistake that caused me 12,000 pesos, pain and shame. but what really made it an unforgetable ordeal is that it caused me sleepless nights and hate towards myself. yes, i said mistake. because it made it once again… i hate myself for having to go all through this once again. i hate myself because i let myself to be in a situation a vowed not to put myself. but i did, and i am hating myself for that. it was dumb of me. it was irresponsible of me.
i hope i can tell you all the things, details but i can’t. for the life of me, i can’t. 2 people knows what happened to me. what i have undergone last year. i cried myself to bed. i never cry. you all know that. but this made me cry last year. i just found out yesterday that i am undergoing the same thing. logic would tell you that i would be stronger. that i would be more prepared. but i think this is something you don’t prepare for.
to my friends, i love you all. please understand my being vauge. you all know thati’m always straight to the point. i don’t keep secrets. it is not me to keep secrets. but this time, i opt to.
to bee, you’re one person i don’t want to lose. please understand. i need you mroe than ever.
you 2 guys. my pillars of strenght. i need you once again….
i dunno what to do anymore…