weekend tears

i’m sick. freaking sick. i have runny nose because of this relentless pouring from the sky. i think rudolph can rest for a while and let me guide santa’s sleigh until i come out of this sickness. my nose is so swollen that i think i can inhale half the population of makati. no kidding, once. i sneezed and a cool 20 pages of loose papers flew out of my study table.

am not really a fan of medicine but i am now taking acetaminophen 500mg and diphenhydramine hydrochloride 12.5mg, thrice. i need to rid this virus out of my system.

hoping the sky will stop pouring out on me…

-oOo-

miserable is not the right term. a little less intense but to the effect of… that is what i am now. i have accepted, rather i psyched myself into believing that i have to end it and it’s for the greater good. i know that it’s a bitter pill to swallow, to accept that it is not but it is better this way. though i know that there is something still in the air, but i rather end it than to make something big about it. i don’t want to believe and be led on by myself, hoping against hope; false hope is something i don’t want to dwell on. and i will not be a victim by my wanting a happy ending.
walking away at times requires more courage. and at this time, i chose to walk away from it all. i know it’s better this way. it may hurt but it is better. i know it is. it must be.

update: i want to forget. and hopefully i will. i want to hate, but i already threw that out of my system. hate is not good.

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